I am looking to adopt an unwanted computer microphone. I can provide a loving and stable home environment. Among the lovely ammenities in its new home are a beatifully aged (read: hand-me-down) hardwood desk to sit on, the knowing guidance of a duck stuffed animal and a plastic "love rat" (see icon) from Archie McPhee's, and a great view of a (sometimes) clean bedroom. To keep it company, the microphone can spend its leisure time hanging out with Mr. Monitor, Mr. Printer, Mrs. Speakers, Sir Mouse and Lady Mousepad.
I'd be willing to provide you with updates and photos of the microphone in its new home as well as a copy of my (clean) criminal history.
Please comment or email responses to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you!